November 21, 2005

Diversions: How to Keep Your Job

Posted at November 21, 2005 01:00 PM in Other .

spaghetti-code.jpgThose of us that are in the U.S. have a holiday coming up this week. Just about everyone not in retail has Thursday and Friday off. With that in mind, this link is for entertainment and fun.

Let's start off with probably the most fiendish technique ever devised: Compile the code to an executable. If it works, then just make one or two small little changes in the source code...in each module. But don't bother recompiling these. You can do that later when you have more time, and when there's time for debugging. When the hapless maintenance programmer years later makes a change and the code no longer works, she will erroneously assume it must be something she recently changed. You will send her off on a wild goose chase that will keep her busy for weeks.

This lengthy article contains tons of information on how to write completely unmaintainable code. Of course, the idea is that you'll "ensure a job for life" so that means you'll have to maintain the code. Not only that, but some of us want to retire, so if you take the logical negative of all of these you may end up with a good list of things to make your code maintainable -- and if you're good you can script the maintenence and let your minion scripts do your work for you while you sip your Mai Tai's on the beach on your private island.

How To Write Unmaintainable Code

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